out of these ashes

i must confess. i would've forgot it was ash wednesday if it hadn't been for those post-chapel goers walking through the library, distracting me. i'm glad they did. i was hungry and needed to be fed with the presence of Jesus. so thanks to that reminder from strangers i dashed on over to an ash wednesday service after eating my din din.
 before din din, i checked my mail box and read the following bold line from a certain letter: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED TO BE A RESIDENT ASSISTANT FOR STOCKTON.

this process of considering this position, applying for it, interviewing for it, and waiting for the results has been extraordinarily peaceful. like crazy amounts of peace were circulating through my system.

  a.) i didn't plan on being at MNU for a 5th year and definitely didn't wish to move back to freshman dorms after living in suites for 2 years BUT...
   b.) i had several weird incidents where people who live off campus asked me if i was applying for RA when i hadn't even spoken the thought that i was thinking  it aloud! i yelped "who told you that?" at poor jeanie from my clinical group!
   c.) encouragement to pursue this came from students and faculty both
   d.) during my interview, i was so relaxed and at ease...i mean i was delivering smooth sentences that conveyed what i was trying to say completely accurate, and even received the compliment of having a good vocab at the end of it! (uhm...i love big words, but can rarely use them in daily life let alone a normally nerve racking interview!)

  honestly this is not what i had planned or foresaw for myself next year, BUT i'm certain now that God did all along. while i was freaking out, having a 1/4 of a life crisis the december before last about needing to stay an extra year at MNU, God was probably chuckling as i sobbed. (ok..so probably not simultaneously...that would be too cruel for my God..) there's always a purpose in God's planning, and rarely in mine. i LOVE when HIS plan exceeds my measly expectations for my future.
  this theme applies to my lenten season this year as well. i sell myself short consistently. i take the short cut to joy, and choose instant happiness gratification with what the world offers. even still there's a creator who lifts me out of the ashes remaining of all i've burned down or tried to do in order to bring me life. true joy is not in selfish ways or weakness but in HIM and his strength. i've had the epiphany that even when i fail to recognize it, he is continually providing me with his strength so that i might progress and grow and be finally presented at my rightful place......by HIS side. 


i.am.claimed.
and he provides even when i fail to uphold my end of this love relationship. i'm unfaithful to my lover. i cheat on him over and over again with the world. so this season of remembrance i've chosen to give up things that can easily lead me down the path of adultery.
  i'm giving up un-necessary spending & cursing.  for those of you unaware of that last bad habit, pinch yourself, it happens. un-necessary spending is anything other than tithe, gas and food items from the grocery store that are nutritional. so adios taco bell, drinks, hospital cafe lunches, scooter's & mcdonald's iced coffees, sweet treats, anything in target, clothes etc. it's going to be SO VERY hard, BUT i'm not enslaved to you materialism! BOOM. you can't touch this baby!
  now everyone please say a prayer that the last line wasn't said in vain....did i mention this is going to be difficult????

"what are you going to do on a dairy farm???"

i had the extreme privilege of spending time with my hilarious and awesome friends visiting from boston yesterday, the two and only meg hardee and micah horton! it's crazy to me to think a year ago today i had NEVER even met these two, and yet last night i was spending time with two of my greatest friends! individually i love these beings and together as the couple of newly engaged kids they are, they radiate a beautiful love that makes me oh so happy. do you think i was a tad excited to see them yesterday???
  you're right. i wasn't in the least. i mean it's SO excruciatingly boring having to hang out with them! it's not like i can acquire a handful of hilarious memories or fantastic quotes straight from the horse, i mean thoroughbred's mouth!
 "how many kids do y'all want?"-me
 "like 4"- meg
 "uhm...we'll see."-micah (while simultaneously receiving the stink eye from his fiancee)
 "please have at least 4, my 6 children are going to need other children to have play dates with on our dairy farm!"-an obsessed crazy person who longs for a dairy farm
 "what are you going to do on a dairy farm??? milk thoroughbreds????"-micah horton
 "those are horses!"-me


the night was full laughter, hilarious quotes in addition to the above and well spent fellowship with my long distance friends. i might also need to confess that this vegetarian happened to consume oklahoma joe's bbq for the very 1st time last night in an effort to take them somewhere uniquely local to o-town. not gonna lie...1st taste of nasty a-- pork in over a year and couldn't have savored it more. so delicioso yet so bloating after. 


p.s.-discovering this song late last night ended a glorious night and was made complete with the presence of the beautiful rain this lovely morning. joyful.

look who's back, back again

what up playa haters?

i've returned to the blogesphere with all sorts of attitude and motivation to jot some thoughts down...just not too many.

   i've decided that in an effort to maintain normal length entries that aren't a bore or the length of a certain university's president's prayers (PAINFULLY, UNNECESSARILY LONG) i shall borrow from an idea conceived by a blogger i follow daily miss emily anderson from this cute little blog:
www.andersonfamilycrew.blogspot.com and merely post moments in my times...not detailed accounts of every daily event, which has proven to be too monumental. (insert my absence in the posting category!)

notable moments from this past weekend? it might begin with a beautiful and selfless mother's birthday in the hometown and end with a night of jello shots and polka dancing!

    we went to a german club from top city's german fasching for mardi gras in a very claustrophobic catholic basement filled to the brim with loads of alcohol and hilarious moments. catholics+germans=this scenario. my family by no means demonstrated this equation, we just enjoyed watching the aftermath of drunk old people trying to polka dance.


highlights i would like to remember 50 years from now???
-watching an older lady from my church down a jello shot...(we're nazzys peeps...so this was HILARIOUS..pretty sure she wasn't quite sure what it was!)
-getting asked to dance....by a 50 year old man...and watching my Pa do absolutely NOTHING to save me
-seeing the hubster to the previously mentioned lady from my church jump exceedingly high after completing the butt wiggle shake down portion of the chicken dance
-occupying myself with watching the slightly feminine priest all evening do hilarious things in his lederhosen costume.

this was longer than i hope to post in the future...but hey it's a start to this minimizing goal.

see how they shine for you...

Pitch black blanket covers the sky while tiny pokes of brilliant beams of light shine through. Stars are undeniably beautiful! I can't get over the difference stars make in the night sky. While at school in the big city I might gaze upward as much as I desire, but to see this scene would be unlikely.