the enemy pursues and too often succeeds in winning my choice.
i.hate.this.
i hate when i so easily succumb to his selfish, habitual, false ways.
i hate myself after i choose darkness over light.
temporary satisfaction in what the world offers takes power over my heart and welcomes itself in my Saviour's home.
and here's the shocking and outrageous thing....i allow it.
for loving this filthy sinner, my God you are true, unconditional and amazing.
thank you.
for this empty handful i bring YOU, my creator, i apologize....once AGAIN.
i'm sorry.
sin has this way of not letting me forget. i feel that to PAY my due i must at least guilty about it for a while. i've made my bed and now i must lie in it. BUT i know the truth. i heard it in one my favorite songs by Chris August on the radio today:
"7 times 70 times
If that’s the cost I’ll pay the price
7 times 70 times
I’ll do what it takes to make it right"
Jesus spoke to me in a lonely car moment at 6 this evening.
He knew the cost, and payed the price and went to hell and back to claim me in the name of LOVE for the kingdom of his Father, My God above. I have been bought at a price. a price set by human choice, and worldly standards BUT conquered by a Heavenly choice to cross out the power of a stupid worldly standard.
to end here is my new anthem to my selfish ways, past and enemy:
And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again
Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
thank ya very much for saying it for me mumford and sons.
i heart you hardcore.
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